Last Post for the Year 2015

Hi Lovelies!!!

It's been a long while since I was last in here. I missed you guys.

On my way to work, I was trying to recap my highlights/ achievements for the year. Unfortunately, I could not recall much. However, Yesterday, I made a feat of driving across the 3rd Mainland bridge. This bridge is one I always feared being on. But my Colleague, gave me his car and insisted I drove home- take about conquering one's fears.

I attempted my professional exams this year. Although I had a reference, I was glad I made effort to write it. I will be concluding it in March 2016, by the grace of God...and if i'm serious enough to pick my books and start reading. I can't say I gave my best in my first attempt. I was too lazy to read. I also tried cutting cost, by avoiding any paid tutorials. Those monies, i will still have to spend, even more, talk about penny wise pound foolish.

I met some people this year, guys actually. They basically are coming for marriage, and of course, some for flings. On this topic, I'll pass, because I really don't like any of them. The one I somehow loved, an architect like me, did something that made me wary. Asked me for a loan of 100k in only two weeks of knowing him. That was like a bad sign. But i still think about him. and I have not been able to like anyone else since then. There is even one who my family sorta likes. He's based in Warri, with a good job. He's also quite generous and maybe caring, but he irritates me. I hate the way he speaks and he's darn ugly. He dresses OK, but there's no love for him. I feel pressure from my people about him. He has some scores to settle with me, cos I discovered somethings about his past he lied about. I hate liars.

I guess I'll stop here, but let me drop one major resolution for next year. 

I will not allow envy of jealousy take hold of me. I happy and comfortable with who I am, what I have. I know who I am.


Wishing You and Amazing, Awesome 2016.

OB, I love you...edited note in red

I write down this heading and I'm smiling to myself....OB, my OB.


It's been a while I wrote about you. Not like I've forgotten about you (though I've convinced myself to do that many times before), It's just that I haven't gotten around to blogging about it.


You're still like a mystery to me... you're still ever present in my life... you're still the one I call Obim, you're still the one I love. 


Yes, I feel like I understand you well enough but I still wish I could trust you more than I do right now.


Maybe you don't know, but I once trusted you (and you, me) until I did something, and you did something and we both lost the trust we had for each other. It still shows in our conversations...the lack of trust, but then you always say you were kidding.


These past weeks, you've been out of this world, you've been what I wished you had been since I met you. You call everyday, you helped me out when I was down financially (I had to really beg sha!) and then yesternight, you said you love me-something you've not said in ..like forever. I think I've said that phrase to you too before but over a conversation. 


OB, I love you...and this I love you is not just a feeling, it's a choice I want to make.


Should I make it?


If you ever read this can you leave your answer here or  tell me in person or over the phone..or in a text, Just tell me Chioma Make that choice.I'll understand what you mean.    Don't bother! (I've seen the future)

Bye bye Twitter link

I used to link this blog to my twitter account, but that was when I wasn't really active on twitter and then my followers where actually strangers. But now, I'm being followed by people who know me and I really don't want them reading all about me and the happenings in my life.


I use to write on a book journal before, but this online stuff seem to be more fun so I started writing here, though not as regularly as I used to write on my book... but honestly, the book was deeper cos I wrote everything- No remix, no half truth. but that was because no one was allowed to touch.
But Online, I try to be more decent which is killing me (grrh!)....but what is one to do...you don't want to be washing your dirty linens outside.


If they stumble upon this blog by chance, No problem!

I choose Hapiness

(Talking to myself) I should be happy.
No I choose happiness. Yes that's it! I choose to be happy, no matter the circumstances. 


That's the way I have programmed my mind. No matter what I come up against, I'll stay happy, hard as it may but happiness I choose. Even though I might not be all smiley -I don't know how to smile- but my mind stays happy, my mind, that's what matters.


I've tried alot to keep a smiley face even when looking at myself in the mirror, but it seems like hard-work. I really don't mind a straight face but then people term it frowning, so what am I to do? 

When will it be my turn?

Logged on to Facebook this morning and guess what stared me in the face? Traditional wedding pictures of a colleague in school. What struck me was that I didn't see it coming-like you know when girls start posting pictures of their boyfriends/fiancee on Facebook. But she didn't do any of that. she was coded which is cool. 


Another thing that struck is that I'm way older than her and I felt this pinch like, Chioma what are you  doing wrong? 


Anyways I'm not in a hurry besides I've not seen the one I like who thinks I'm worthy to become his wife. So, I'm just chilling till then. But when it would really hurt is when my younger sisters, who are of age now, start getting married. My mum has already told my immediate younger one not to wait for me(that thought still hurts). I've even told her myself not to wait for me. 


I'll settle when I find someone close to what I need.My Dad told me two years ago that there was no perfect person (that I know). He also said if I see someone who scores like 3/10, that the person is good enough and we can grow and improve ourselves. My Mum was there that day and she was like noooo oh! 3 is too low. 4/10 is ok! So I'm still waiting for "my" 4/10. 


...still sailing, Wish me luck!

We run the World!

I'm not trying to sound arrogant or proud. 

It's not like I don't need a man in my life,i just think that he needs me more than I need him . Afterall, God saw how lonely Adam was before he took out a rib from him to form Eve(the one who would complete him). In essence, he was made incomplete and then completed with Eve. 

Ladies! It's the man alone(by the grace of God that knows who will complete him.). 

Listen, the man must choose you first. You can't choose him. He does the choosing first, and it's only then you can make your choice. You can decide to choose him back or you wait to be choosen again. 

But first of all make sure you are happy with who and what you are, then try to place yourself in places (good places) where you will be seen/found.

Whoever sees you as his missing rib will definitely choose you.

Yeah a major problem is that some men don't know what they lack or are missing. That's why couples fall out after the man discovers the woman they are with is not who they should be with. 

So ladies, when a man chooses you, you still have a lot of background checks to do. You need to be sure the man knows himself. Cos if he doesn't know himself, how would he know what he's lacking inside of him.

Ladies you have alot of work to do.

I'll continue on this some other time Ciao.

The End times' Here Mum...and I'm scared.....for my Kids unborn

This post is directed to my Mum, though I know she won't see it cos the best she does on the internet is to read the news via her mobile phone.

Mum, this is it. With the situation of things around the world especially in my dear country Nigeria, I don't feel like I want to get married. The reason being that I don't want to bring up my Kids in this cruel world. This world is full of wickedness.

If raising my kids is up to me and my (future) extended family alone, I have no problem. But my child will have to go to school, he/she will have to socialize and then......he gets mixed-up messages or rather mixed up ideas. Is family right or is family really being logical, Does God really exist? Stuffs like that!

The forces outside are really strong and I'm afraid to say that they are becoming stronger by the day. Their influence is becoming stronger by every passing minute and it is scary, sorry I had to repeat myself there but I'm  really scared.

I look around and people I admire and respect turn around and declare that God doesn't exist! How heartbreaking!

So you see Mother, I don't want to raise a child that will go to school and get all the knowledge he can and then doubt the existence of God, it will be too heartbreaking.

I almost did that but thanks to the foundation you gave me. I met this lady online, Facebook to be precise and she is a learned atheist. I've tried to convince her in my own little way that God really exists, but she gave me points and those point were really intelligent and logical. She has this phrase she always use "Logic Rules". All the Christians that came across her were logically weak cos she won all the argument. I started having small doubts in my mind............ but I'm Ok now. I kinda broke communication with her. Though we are still friends on facebook, but I don't pay any attention to what she post.


This is to God...

Dear God, I'm really scared and I fear the day you would choose to show to the world that you are real. 

A word is enough for the wise, a little action, says it all.

I've had a lot going on this week. No thanks to the weekend past. All the fun....

Today, I couldn't take it aany longer so I went to seek professional help at the general hospital. I was fortunate to see a physician without having to wait years. After I explain what I thought was wrong with me he send me to the Lab to run a test. This morning, OB called me, out of concern(I guess). While I was at the hospital waiting room, I logged on facebook chat and saw him online, so I started a conversation. Anyway, the issue of money came up and he "planked" me. He stopped responding. when I asked if he was still online he responded, then I gave him a piece of my mind in the most diplomatic manner I could think of. Then, he started saying that he does not undersand what I mean by "you always act funny when money is mentioned" Anyway we talked about other things but his response takes time, I know he's not a fast typist but even a 5 year old can respond faster than he does. Anyway, I told him (something he know but refuses to believe) that I was really broke and if I could get some cash from him today, and then guess what? HE WENT OFFLINE.

Such is the person I call boyfriend and wish to spend the rest of my life with. Mtchew... Chioma wise up!


He came online later at about 3:15pm, then he asked how ie, how do I intend to get the money? Anyways I don't know whether to hate on him or just allow him display his true selfl. Besides, the internet connection in his office's not so reliable or he was so busy, anything could be possible for his logging off.

Anyways, my love still goes out to you, it's up to you to take or leave it. The good thing being that I know what I want from a marriage-bound relationship and this(I'm sure) is not it.

you insignificant human being how Dare YOU WRITE SUCH RUBBISH ????

Today, I was just not feeling my "relationship" at all. So I sent this  link(my blog) to OB in his Facebook chat box(he was offline), adding that I know what he reads might ruin our friendship but that I just wanted him to know. Later, he came on line while I was off. So he called me and asked me what I sent. I told him it was better he read it himself. He scanned through the last post(precedeing this). Anyway to cut a short story shorter, he sent me this "you insignificant human being how Dare YOU WRITE SUCH RUBBISH ????" on my Facebook chat.

Anyways, he called later and invited me for a bachelors eve this coming friday. He said it would be fun and ofcourse, he did not sound so happy (which is not unusual) He said he would let me know as time goes by how we meet. I appologised for making him sad after the blog stuff, not for writing it. I will continue to write what I want, on my blog It's mine or is it?

But, Seriously...

I don't like how he calls my name, but when he calls me Maama, it feels like the best name ever. He hasn't called in days and I stopped counting. Guess I'm out of his mind but he sure aint out of mine!


 I'm waiting on God, I requested something from him and I'm hoping for the result this week. I've decided (yesterday) to leave my options open. It doesn't have to be OB or anyone, but someone who is caring, who loves and respect God, who is smart and intelligent, funny, charming and lots more. He should be comfortable already and ready to put a ring on my finger. 


Gone are the days where I fall for the guy "with prospect"-Please, who doesn't have prospect? Mtchew, they will break your hear. The guys who are ready are way better. It's funny how what I miss the most about OB are his friends. They are intelligent and funny people. I miss his siblings too, they are cool and up-to-date. What else? em mm, I know what's on my mind right now, but I won't say that here, It's really personal. .........So..........., Nothing else!