Thursday, November 7, 2013

Back to Just Me

Long time peeps. So I broke up yesterday night with the guy I thought was "The One". It was quite emotional for me even though I tried to  feign Calm. He spent the night, he tried to touch but I told him off. This morning, I woke him up and told him he had to leave, I told him I didn't want to leave him inside like I usually did. He beg and pleaded that he needed me in his life and I should not abandon him now. While he packed his stuff, I got so emotional and started crying especially when he left. I burst into a serious fit and he came back hugged me and told me it'll be ok. I told him I was fine, so he left to go again. He told me to see him off to the back door of which I did...then he got emotional (Something told me he was faking it), that was when I regained my cool and stance not to be manipulated with this display of emotions. I had made my stance very clear to him.
1. He should delete the pictures of the lady in question on Facebook
2. He should introduce me to her
3. He should pay me what he owes me
4. Allow me know his place of work.

I'm way shocked even though I saw the signs but I decided to have patience and hang on till I get a clearer picture of thing. I did and He is a terrible lair. I'm really disappointed in him.

Please I just need to move on with my Single Life. When "The One" come fine...If he doesn't even better. 



Monday, July 29, 2013

I find it pretty hard to trust guys these days.

Hi Peeps.

I hope the "about to end" July is doing  you well? Do you what to know how it was for me? OK, for me, I would say it was pretty tough-as usual right? Anyways I will get to that later.

What actually bugged my mind this morning to write here was that, while enjoying a glass of cold water and looking out the window of my office, I saw a young man, say age 25, holdig this young girl about the age of 12. It was broad day-light, 11am to be precise, it was in the open light, which means, they probably had nothing to hide, yes, maybe just a brotherly friendly hold on the shoulders. But then, my mind kept pricking me, coupled with all the stories you hear about rape and which seems quite to be on the increase. What did I do? I tried to enter the mind of the guy, trying hard to imagine what he could possibly be telling the little girl, probably, come see me when you're free or whatever. I had to cut myself short from making  further assumptions. Then I saw he let the girl go, probably on an errand she ws sent, while he walked away. My eyes followed the young girl, and I coudn't just help but try to see into her. I wached her steps and the way she walked, hoping it could lend an eviednce to my assumptions. She seemed happy and matured, by matured I mean exposed. I wish, I was four floors below, where I would have tried to make friends with her and possibly one day when she has gaing conficence in me, she would open up. But I can't, I'm too caught up in my own stress to wonder about anyone right now. Work calls and I leave the window consoling myself that I still have time to save lives.

Happy New Month in advance

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Still on Ob matter!

Hi Peeps.

I have wanted to write alot about all I have been through, but because of the time, unavailable internet -we've been limited acces to the internet in the office 1pm-2pm, I couldn't. But something happened yesterday. On my way back home from work ,while inside a Keke, I sighted my Ex, OB driving  through. I was grateful, I was not a few minutes later, if not, chances that he would see be would have been greater. 

Rewind to Last Month or there about,.....

OB had been calling me, telling me stuffs like he dreams about me, asking me what I am putting on including the colour of my underwear. Who does that?...and to your Ex for that matter? He is just one sick dude. Funny enough I looked forward to hearing his voice even though I don't respond to his inappropriate questions. Some months earlier, before his calls became more constant, he called me to tell me he did his introduction the Saturday before. He said he was just calling all his Exes to apologise and ask for forgiveness if he wronged them in anyway. I told him I held no grudge against him and that I am happy in my relationship. He sorta acted amazed that I was in another relationship so soon.  During the call, I felt a little jealous thinking it would have been me the introduction was done for. But After the call was over, I was so sure I was not jealous but rather I was glad to be done and over with him. Marrying OB would be me pulling the trigger on myself. After the call, Something told me he was lying. The OB I know can't settle down now, No! definitely not now. Maybe in the next 10 years but not now. So I realised he just said it to get a reaction from me. Maybe to see if I still had the affections for him.

After that call, his calls became more regular and he saying he would take me out to the movies and bla bla. 

During a session with my Coach, David, I told him about these happenings, and he adviced me as a friend to end all communication with OB until I am ready , when he can have no effect on me, emotionally or otherwise.

So I sent the dude an SMS saying 

" Hi OB, I trust you're good. With no ill intentions, I want you not to call me again. I'm going through a phase and I need absolutely no contact with you. thanks"

So Today..  I was on facebook and saw a post by OB. He talked about me there, actually yabbed me.

"been outta facebook for a while but from a microscopic view, i can just see a world where everyone is living on the Internet! funny though but with badoo,twoo,Bb,twitter, and a host of others. how can we genuinely be real? 

like seriously i get to read a whole bunch of garbage on my page, but hold on!!!!!!!, you who is about to suggest " i'd better change friends" its just damm irritating to have someone who dsnt give a f**k u, ask u vote for a family member to make it into professional football WTF is dat.
i still reside on the side that says there cant be a better decade than the 80's nowadays theres a whole lot shit going on social media like the one you just read!!! whateveaaaaaa!!!"

The text in red is where he threw the jab at me. I shared a link on Facebook, two days ago asking friends to vote for my brother, to who was contesting for an opportunity to partake in a football trial. 

To cut my story short. I'm glad,, I still affect him somehow... Maybe he rally misses me! *Smiles*

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Holding on to empty perfume bottles.

So during the weekend I disposed of three empty perfume bottles I've held onto for three years or thereabout. Sure enough, they were kinda ofwhat I will call expensive perfumes. Please note that I didn't buy any myself. One of them, "fantasy" by britney spears was from my aunt. Another, "hugo boss", was from a man that wanted to marry me . Then the third one "lovely" by jessica parker was given to me by my dearest female friend. It was half used anyway and the fragrance is heavenly. So i've been holding on to these bottle for the crazy reason that they are the most expensive I've used.
Does anyone out there do the same?
I love designers perfume but bringing out such huge amount of money to purchase one ain't funny, when there are very good Impostors out there like the "designer impostors" of years back, i don't know if they still exist but there's the "smart" collection now. These guys are good. They give you just that perfect scent for peanuts. And you know what? Even some rich Oil workers stock their dressers with a variety of these smart products.

Dating married Men.

Ok. Was in one of these threads of facebook and the question was how do you tell a married man chasing you off? The best answer in my opinion was by a lady who said she would tell the man to give her sometime so she could contact his wife for approval. Lmao. Some didn't get the lady's joke anyway.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Sex! ....still a scary topic.

Ok, I was in the bus going home when a lady behind me asked another woman by my side if she has daughters. The woman was rattled as to the reason for such a question. The lady later replied in a rather awkward way that she want the woman to educate her daughters about Sex. The woman (I smile) was even more shocked at the mention of the word "sex" and replied, rather nervously that her girls are grown up . She refused the pamphlet the lady was handing her, meanwhile the lady continued talking, telling her to use the material to educate any young girl around her about rape , the woman was at the same time insisting she didn't need It, that her girls are married so they can't be raped. Lol. People are still not comfortable when the issue of sex is raised. Phew. Anyways I sharply took the material when it was given me cos I've been in two scenario where I could have been raped but for the divine intervention of God. Once when I was eleven or thereabout and the second was in my fourth year by a friend.

I need all the information I can get about avoiding one because I swear it's not a situation you will wish your enemy. I've healed if not I won't have been able to talk about my near rape experience. There are lots of girls out There, who are in another dimension psychologically because they've been raped and are yet to heal. For penalty, I pass a bill that all rapist be castrated this is because I'm not a fan of the capital punishment. If not...

Monday, May 27, 2013

A changing ME- The office

So after my session with my coach, David, I realized that I had set off my career on a wrong foot. In fact at the end of the session, I wished I had heard all that he said in my earlier days. But the truth is I probably would have heard, but never thought it was important.

Please don't ask me what I learnt because right now, I have forgotten, but one decision I made yesterday was to change my sitting position in the office this is so i could dedicate more time to office work instead of always face-booking and twitting and blogging (just like I'm doing now). That is what I learnt. Yes! Adding value to the company! With his help, I arrived at some ways I could add value to the company.

My former self (I pray I never return to her) would just feel bitter inside because, I feel I'm not earning what I deserve, that anger and bitterness of course will affect my output, because, I'm going to exhibit a nonchalant attitude to work, and you know, employers see all these, why then should they bother increasing my pay? When all they think of is profit, and I'm not playing any creative part in the whole process?

Dear Lord, give me the grace to be an assets to the company and not a liability  Please, let me be one, that when I ask for an increase, they increase, in short someone that is almost indispensable to the company.. Amen.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Going Natural.

I really can't remember the last time I used relaxers on my hair, But I remember wanting to lock (artificial) my hair for the Christmas last year 2012. I ended up not locking it anyway, can't remember the reason, probably, my hair wasn't due enough to rock the hair style. Anyway, I'll assume, the last time I retouched was in September 2012. This is because, I bought the attachment I intended to use for Christmas  way before the season (cos of the usual outrageous increase in prices prevalent within that period). Funny enough, I got the wrong attachment for the dread lock, instead the one I got was for Kinky braids. In January when I thought my hair was due enough to be locked, I went to the salon, that was when I discovered my mistake. I however still went ahead with the kinky. Before this though, I met, a Naturalista at a religious function, and told her about my intention of locking. She however advised me not to lock, but rather, just go natural, so that I can be at liberty to play more with the hair. I reasoned with her. So on January 15th 2014, I made, my kinky braids and loved it. 

Below is a picture, immediately after I made the hair.



The following is me rocking the hair at work
 






I did the Kinky thing for the second consecutive time, this time wasn't as nice as the first, because I used the same attachment. The first I carried for two month, The second for a month. Then I did the Ghana weave of my previous post












I took off this Ghana weave on Saturday morning. Washed my hair  myself on Saturday night. While conditioning, I grabbed a scissors and started trimming the relaxed ends, not the tiny trim I normally do, but large chunk of hair. I guess I just couldn't wait to rock just my natural hair, Was already tired of the transitioning thingy,

Anyways, I ended up with this


                                           




 

Finally, After trying out how I would wear the hair to work, I settled with this.










...and Yes, I got lots of complements and stares. lol

Natural hair Rocks baby!

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Ghana Weaves and Natural hair

Over a week ago, May 1st to be precise, I went to the hair salon to make myself a nice braid.  I settled for the Ghana Weave, "shuku" style. Actually, this hair was in preparation for an interview I had the coming Friday (Will gist you more about it here).

I went there with my own Xpression attachment, after negotiation, I was billed Two thousands Naira (N2000). The hair took me an average of three hours with one person doing the actual Ghana weave and another working on the ends. 


Shuku Ghana Weaving.
Tomorrow will make it two weeks since I made this braids. It's pretty rough at the front for a hairdo this old. Though the ends are still neat and can go another two weeks, but the front is crying "Take me off!!". Yes, I will take you off by weekend !!(That's me crying back to the hair, to please arrange herself till weekend, when I'll take her off).

My conclusion is just that, natural hair and Ghana weaves, really don't go together, that is if you intend rocking the hair for a long while.

Kinky rules!



The interview.

If you've been following my blog, I'm sure I would have numerously stated  how poorly paid I am. Well I got an opportunity to improve it and what did I do?

...How it all started....

About two years ago, when I was still with my former employer - Spacetime Consultants, I supervised some Diamond bank projects. One was in Abakaliki and another at Nnewi. Anyway, I left that office before the jobs were completed (later found out that they were never completed.) 

While handling those project, I had the opportunity to correspond with some staff of the Diamond bank  (They represent the client). There was this particular one, I'll call him SU, who was the client's rep in the south eastern zone. So he was the one I was in contact with most of the time.

When I left to my present work place, I heard from a former colleague that Diamond bank too had relocated their Property Department from VI to Lagos Island, somewhere not far from my office building. 

Some weeks later, at the canteen I go to have lunch (with a colleague of mine), I met, this SU, We exchanged pleasantries and all. He paid for my lunch that afternoon. I met him  two more times or thereabout till I stopped going there for lunch- I had discovered a new eatery, that is if I didn't bring my own meal.

The story continues...

I still do go for  Morning mass at the cathedral sometimes. There is this chap I know who goes there too. He went to my university, actually he dated a friend of mine, and he works with Diamond bank-I saw him there those time I went to Diamond bank "years" ago. On this particular day, we left the church the same time-we rarely do cos he usually stays behind to say extra prayers, So while chatting, I asked after colleagues of his who I knew, that was when I found out that SU was no longer with the Bank. I learnt he was now into construction on his own. 

I always had his contact on my phone, so I gave him a call, actually to advertise my interest in getting little jobs from him. Somehow, I can't remember how I said it , but I asked if I could replace him at the bank (I was actually cracking a joke) but he told me to give it a try, that the bank actually needed more hands. He told me who to contact at the office and off I went with my CV.

I'll call the new contact person CY. When I got to the head office, after waiting a while I was ushered in to see him. He was a nice guy and we chatted and he told me that I had to come back to see his boss, who was leaving that day on a two weeks vacation. Two weeks later, I came back and still the boss was not back. I tried again and was in luck. I met him-another nice chap and he directed me to CY for a small interview (earlier CY had warned me not to act like I had met him before, he gave his reasons though). So CY just chatted, nothing like an interview but he told me, I'll be called back for the main interview. He said it might be weeks, it might be months but I'll be called. Although he told me that if I didn't hear anything in two week, I should come back and see his boss. Two weeks later, I came back to see the boss, cos I had not heard from them, the boss told me not to worry, that he had not forgotten me. I asked for his contact number or email but he refused to give it to me, telling me not to worry.

Weeks later on the 29th of April, I got an SMS from the bank calling me for an interview.

"INTERVIEW INVITE- 3/5/13, DB Training Center. 
161D, Raufu Taylor Close, Off Idejo Street, VI, Lagos. 
Time:10.00am.
Pls come with 4CVs, originals&copies of birth cert, O'Level Cert,Degree cert and NYSC cert."

The time was later moved to 11:30am.

I immediately sent CY an SMS telling him that I had been called and asking what to expect on the day. He replied that I should just do my best and everything will be fine.

On the 30th of May, during lunch break, I went in search of a befitting dress for the interview found one but when I tried it at home, I realized it was too short to be decent, so I had to call up the shop and asked if I could exchange. Thankfully, they agreed. The following day 1st of May, when we had a public holiday, I went to exchange the dress for a more decent one and also to purchase a shoe, also got hair extensions because the kinky braids I was on was too old and not-too-presentable. 

While all this was going on, my Aunt who I stayed with at Lakowe, after Ajah, was suppose to be entering the theater for a CS operation. Somehow, she told me not to bother coming that day which afforded me time to do all this running around for my interview. So When I came back from the market,  I later went to the hair salon, made my braids and I believed I was ready for the interview on Friday.

(Thursday My aunt called me that she had been delivered of twins and i could come, I left the office and went over, stayed a while and returned to the office because, I would be taking the next day off from work)

On the Friday  I skipped work, No excuses taken either. While dressing, I was in consultation with my Sis, via Whatsapp, till I thought I was good to go. I got a cab to take me there.

When I arrive the venue and opened the entrance door, behold, I was not the only one who had an interview that day. Mine though was special because others were there for the second phases of their interviews and this was my first time. I waited a long while till finally it got to my turn.

When the door was opened, guess who I saw? CY himself and some others. I sorta lost my confidence then. I guess I was too tensed cos I did not want to disappoint him but disappoint him I did. Even from the onset, because the first question I even failed.

I was asked if I knew the position I was applying for and I said I didn't. Honestly I knew it was in the property unit, but the exact position, I didn't know. CY spoke up for me, and said she's my candidate. One other guy asked me why i should be hired and I began blabbing. CY, trying to help me save face, asked some easier questions but I still answered wrongly. Gosh!

Finally the guy who asked why I could be hire came out straight with me that, he was just doing me a favour  because he thinks I'm smart and intelligent, he suggested I entered the bank through the aptitude test instead of going through what I was doing now because he thinks I don't have the experience this particular job required. I tried to tell them that three years experience was good enough but they insisted that, even if it was good enough, that I didn't display it during the interview. God! I was beaten.

Couple of days later I got this SMS

"Sequel to your recent interview with Diamond Bank, we regret to inform you that you were not successful. Thank you for your interest in Diamond Bank. Regards"

That's my sad story. It didn't end here though, it got better. Catchya later, my hand hurts from typing.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

I finally moved out of my Aunt's place.

Hey peeps, I eventually made the move I'd wished for so long. I tried so hard not to whine about it here on my blog, but it was something that really made me depressed. The journey from my Aunt's place to work and back everyday was not something I would even wish my enemies.

Remember, the other Aunt i stayed with in gbagada, the one whose house I ran away from, anyways, I went to visit her when we got talking. She asked me about the house search I embarked on some time ago. I told her the search was stalled because, my brother who I was to live with travelled out and beside, the money burgrtted for it has been spent on something else. She sorta suggested, since she would be moving to her own house, that I could raise the rent for her present place and take over it after she moveed. This idea was beyond fantastic. I was overwhelmed with joy, because Gbagada is a place aftr my heart. There was a dbig BUT. FUNDS! How was I to raise Three hundred thousand Naira in a few weeks, when all the money I make is virtually spent on transport and lunch? So I allowed it slid and tried to forget about everything, making up my mind to endure the transport stress till I enter my husband's house.

One fateful day, while communicating with my Sister, i told her about the proposition of my aunt, and she told me not to alow the opportunity slid but to take it. I explained to her that I didn't want to go around borrowing money from peole to pay and she was like, there was no big deal, but those who really mean well for me would give me a helping hand. I still let it slid

another day, I met with my friend and life coach and told him about everything and he too told me to go for it. Afterall this was like the first step to the better life I had always dreamt of.  After this episode, I summoned the courage and composed a text to send to people I call my friends and those I believed were doing well in general.


"Hi dear. Good Morning. Pls I'm in dere need of fund to help me complete payment for a decent accommodation I found closer to my place of work. It is for 300k, but I've raised only 150 and the arrangement requiresme to raise the cash this february. so I humbly ask yu for a loan of whatever you think you can spare to assist me. I hope to be able to pay back in 4 months. Thanks. Will call you back to get your response"

Above is the text I sent out. Most of them told me later, after I had raised the money that they thought it was a spam message. Some said they had some project at hand so wouldn't be able to spare. Some never responded, didn't even pick when I called. Anyways to cut a very long story short, I raised the cash.

My darling Friend Maureen, She's one in a billion, raised me One hundred and fifty thousand, Another friend, Chinwe raised me Fifty thousand, my dear Dad, raised me another 50. The story with my dad is another one that depressed me so much. When I told him i needed 300 thousand, if he could loan me, he was in summary disappointed that i could after years of working still be asking him for money, when I should have started being responsible for my younger ones. Somehow, i was angry that he thought that way, did he think I had the money and didn't want to help out? I was really angry with him then. Forgiven him and myself though.

I raised the money, my boyfriend delayed me in paying it to my Aunt, he said I should pray about it before going further.

Anyways, after the prayer and fasting, I paid her the money, she gave it to the agent two days later.
......to be continued

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

My comfort Zone.

I've become so comfortable where I am or have I? No! I'm not..at least psychologically, I'm not. I'm not where I'm suppose to be, but then I find myself relaxing in my present position and angry at the same time for being where I am. Funny enough, I'm the only one who can change my situation...maybe I have been waiting for someone to give me a push (Motivation), but it's not coming. So I've got to push myself, by myself..to where I need/want to be. I don't know If I have ever told you I wanted to go into fashion- for a long while I've had that in mind. I made effort even during service and while I was still in Gbagada with my aunt, but it didn't come through. I even almost got involved (marriage talks) with  someone who had the same passion as I have for fashion (that would have been a grave mistake). I have come up with a business plan-not totally drawn out though, on how to "start" in this passion of mine. I believe if I start there would be no looking back. Come January ending I intend to get the ball rolling with Chiek Couture. lol. Just call me Chiek.

Here is a sketch of my new logo/Monogram- yet to be developed.
My new Logo








I have a logo people know me with, it was created since my 4th year in school  but all of a sudden I thought it didn't just  fit to be used for a fashion line, So I came up with the new one above.
The one for architecture









Wish me God's grace.

This is Welcome.

I not only welcome you to this site, but myself also. It welcome to me not because it's my first time blogging but because, I am blogging for a different reason. I blogged at shesearches@blogspot.com, which was an online journal but move it to an entirely different site- WordPress  I changed (re-branded) the  the  shesearches@blogspot.com to this which I intend to use purely for design purposes.

I am an architect by training and a creative and innovative person by nature. My start might not be fantastic, but I had to convince myself to just start. I believe I'll surely get better for it as the days go by.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Happy 2013 Guys!

Finally got the opportunity to update my blog- thanks to the office resumption.
Honestly, I'm lost for words to write or even say. My emotions are just so mixed up. I've still not been able to sort them, or maybe I don't want to sort them. I don't know.

Just a rundown...
  • He stopped calling me. DO
  • He got me a watch for xmas/new year, but now I think it was actually a farewell gift.
  • We finally went to see the movie I was owing us. It was a morning movie and he hurriedly left.
  • He stopped replying my messages and chat
  • I think he lied.
To more interesting things:
  • I traveled home to see my folks. It was all Sleep, cook, sleep, cook...I didn't eat much. Didn't find the appetite.
  • I attended church and other religious activities, went for deliverance....I caught the fire also started developing an addiction to Emmanuel TV like my folks are. lol.
  • Met someone new-on the phone, we haven't seen face to face. We chat alot and he calls alot. I prefer chatting to calling though.
  • I also am in constant chat with another guy- we went too UNN together he calls often too.
  • I couldn't go swimming as I planned. So sad as I didn't find an opportunity to display my hot bikini and trunk..
  • I was able to give my peeps little Xmas gifts.  They were all very excited. I wish I could do much more. Still owe them though.
  • Also did some Xmas gifting to two people. Still have a lot on my list who I owe. Will find time in the year to do that.
This year I hope to blog more. Smile more, Give more. Work more, Socialize more, Pray more, Play more, Eat more, Sleep more. and Daydream less. lol