I don't even know how to start but I guess I should just state how I feel right now.....FRUSTRATED. Yes I am frustrated with a lot of things but deep down I still have hope though I am very unsure of when my salvation will be.
I am 27 now and next year April 7th precisely, I will be 28 and what do I have to show for it...Nothing!!
Shit!! How bad can it get. I am not married, my bank account still reads zero, I still put up with shit from relatives I stay with and can't even afford my own crib.
I'm hopeful though, cos I think I have actualised the first step in getting a better life, which is changing my Job.
Yeahhh.!! At least that alone is worth celebrating, because to achieve all what I have set and dreamt, getting a good job was my first aim.
Also, with this new job came an added advantage, MORNING MASS. I'm a catholic though not a strong one.
My new office is so close to the cathedral, in fact a 5 mins walk . So I have the opportunity of going for morning mass before coming to work. But there is a thing to it. Considering where I live now is very far from were I work , so to get to work which starts by 8.30amm, I have to leave the House by 6.00am, but since Mass is by 6.30, I have to wake up by 4- 4.30 and leave the house by 5am or else I will be late for mass. So I have a very huge sacrifice to make..My sleep.
BTW, It's been a long while since I have been here but I think I let you know that I was thrown out of my Aunt's place the one I was staying with in Gbagada. She got tired of my late night homecoming and also my I-don't-care attitude. But honestly, that is the only way I can stand her. She is so rude and arrogant and staying with her only drives me nuts. Anyway, I have moved in with my other Aunt though most of my things are still in the previous place. I am happier here, though there is a major problem, where I stay now is miles from civilisation, lol, miles from my place of work, so I wake up by 4, sometimes 4.30am and I get back by some minutes after nine, no thanks to the traffic on that stupid Ajah road. I really pray they finish that road construction soonest, let us see if it would have any impact on the traffic.
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| Unhappy me!!! |
Then something else that frustrates me is my so-called boyfriend. Oh!!! He's such a ............/ Whatever, everyone says he is not worth it and I deserve better, but I feel he needs my because he seems to be out of focus, not like I am focused either but I think I am better, at least I tryyyyyy to work towards my dreams. On his part, he has lots of wonderful dreams, but all he does is talk and talk and talk, NO ACTION. I just don't want to waste my precious time and youth waiting for a ..................
I said this blog was my journal and there is a lot I want to write about him but I think I rather not for now. The last time he called me was two days ago. Sometimes it stays up to four days, me too I don't burge. He would say he probably putting me to the test to See how caring I am, me too, I am putting him to the test and he has Failed woefully over and over again.
Why am I so unhappy?
Is it the heartbreak I witnessed over three years ago. What could it possibly be? Why am I so bitter?
................................GOD HELP ME
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