Tuesday, February 28, 2012

you insignificant human being how Dare YOU WRITE SUCH RUBBISH ????

Today, I was just not feeling my "relationship" at all. So I sent this  link(my blog) to OB in his Facebook chat box(he was offline), adding that I know what he reads might ruin our friendship but that I just wanted him to know. Later, he came on line while I was off. So he called me and asked me what I sent. I told him it was better he read it himself. He scanned through the last post(precedeing this). Anyway to cut a short story shorter, he sent me this "you insignificant human being how Dare YOU WRITE SUCH RUBBISH ????" on my Facebook chat.

Anyways, he called later and invited me for a bachelors eve this coming friday. He said it would be fun and ofcourse, he did not sound so happy (which is not unusual) He said he would let me know as time goes by how we meet. I appologised for making him sad after the blog stuff, not for writing it. I will continue to write what I want, on my blog It's mine or is it?

I'm in Soup!

OB called today around lunch break and told me to log on to facebook so we could chat. I did. He asked if the laptop on my facebook profile was mine, I told him it was and that it was up for sale. BTW I told him some days ago that I needed to buy a laptop (since my Laptop he helped me fix  last year never worked). He asked me if there was anything else I wanted to buy and I told him no. He then complained of a headache so I asked him if he went to bed late last night, he affirmed saying he stayed up to watch the Oscars. I asked him if he had taken some medications and he said yes.

Then he wrote "I'm broke". I was shocked when I saw that! What does he take me for? He still hasn't paid the 5grand I borrowed him. It's either he is sick or I am! I think I am because why would I let such a thing happen to me? It's not like I didn't know about him before I agreed to go out with him, but I really believed he wanted to turn a new leaf! What rubbish have I gotten myself into? He didn't even say "hey! long time" or stuff like that!

I really need to get my money back, just that I don't know how to go about it. I need my money back!

.......................How do I get my money back?

My Mother

Just heard the P-Square song(beautiful Onyinye) and started missing my Mum. I may not be the perfect child she would have wanted me to be but, I know she loves me just as I am and I swear, I love her so much. I really miss home right now!

Monday, February 27, 2012

But, Seriously...

I don't like how he calls my name, but when he calls me Maama, it feels like the best name ever. He hasn't called in days and I stopped counting. Guess I'm out of his mind but he sure aint out of mine!

 I'm waiting on God, I requested something from him and I'm hoping for the result this week. I've decided (yesterday) to leave my options open. It doesn't have to be OB or anyone, but someone who is caring, who loves and respect God, who is smart and intelligent, funny, charming and lots more. He should be comfortable already and ready to put a ring on my finger. 

Gone are the days where I fall for the guy "with prospect"-Please, who doesn't have prospect? Mtchew, they will break your hear. The guys who are ready are way better. It's funny how what I miss the most about OB are his friends. They are intelligent and funny people. I miss his siblings too, they are cool and up-to-date. What else? em mm, I know what's on my mind right now, but I won't say that here, It's really personal. .........So..........., Nothing else!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

It's Your Choice

I wonder why all my thoughts these days are centred on you, but yesterday/today, you made me feel like you are not worth it. I went to church today, and guess what I prayed for? To forget you and focus on other more important things. If you want to be a better person, It's your decision to make and yours alone.I thought I could have a little positive impact on you but Nay! So I should just try somewhere else. I'll still love you just like I love the others before you......still counting.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The day after Val

Phew!! Another Day, the whole "Red Fever" is dead! That aside, I learnt something new on Revit today and I feel really great right now.

BTW, on my way to the office, I was thinking seriously about 1 Corinthians 13-the part about love...and I decided to show OB what love really is.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentine's Day

I came to the office in a black and white dress. and a red bag. I looked good. When I logged into Facebook, I don't know what took me to OB's page. I don't know! I really feel sad because while I was browsing through his profile, Emeka sent me my 1st Val's day message. I really feel like crying. (Yesterday, Dare asked me to be his Val. How do I reply that?) I'm in love with OB and I was thinking today that I should fight for what I love.  I'll fight but not because of all the girls flocking him but because I know he can be a better and more influential person. I'll fight the way I know how-with prayers. OB must improve in Jesus name (Yeah! Just got my 2nd message from Elohor Ovadje) OB, Please stop causing me heartache, even with the picture of J you uploaded weeks ago and you keep saying nothing is amiss. Please if you are not in love with me any more, let me know please. My heart aches! It really aches from all the pain and stress and "unlove" I get. Free me if you wilt!

Guess what? He just called. Ob called! Although I didn't talk long because I guess he perceived I was not in a wonderful location to talk.

Friday, February 3, 2012

These thoughts of mine!!

This blog that is filled with man-man things! One part of me wants to delete them but the other part of me wants to leave them; because they would serve as a reminder, to remind me of how I felt at those times in my life. I know when I look back at them; I’ll smile and say “was that me”!  Even now I smile at some stuff I’d written before lol!  You need to see me know, I’m smiling from ear to ear writing this because I can vividly remember myself as a kid. I was something else oh! ‘Trouble lover” would describe the child I was then. But now, things have changed; I have changed….and still changing.
Like my blog says (which I edit ones in a while), I’m in search. “In search of that total completeness”. I have God already though but not as much as I ought to have him. But there is just still that “something” missing and I am the only one who can discover it for myself. Nobody can do it for me!
I want to have fun and I want to live and not just exist. But something keeps holding me back. I’ll find what it is and break it, and then I’ll be free. Free to love like I have never been hurt, free to give like I own the world and free to live like I was a “god”, through the grace of the “mighty G”

Thursday, February 2, 2012


I came across this in my (book) journal of 6th April 2011.

6th April 2011.
Tomorrow, I will be 27 years old. I actually wanted to put this note on the web (my blog), but due to circumstances, I can’t.
This is just to thank God for his goodness and faithfulness in my life.
When I was 8 or so, I remember vividly on one particular occasion, I and a childhood friend of mine (Teni) went in search of our brothers. On the way, we stopped to play with this plant called touch-me-not. We were so carried away with the fun of touching the plant with our sticks. These touch-me-not plants were spread along a big ditch and we were touching as we went until we got to a part where the plants were in abundance. You could see excitement written all over our faces. - Unknown to us that there was someone lying underneath these. We were joyfully hitting till we disturbed the creature out of his resting place. The dog chased us both, because we were running in the same direction till we separated and he concentrated on Me. You needed to see me as I ran for my dear life. Unfortunately, as I ran, lo and behold a solid wall in front of me…..and the rest is history. LOL at that.
Back to my story, I ran until I met the solid wall and when I discovered there was nowhere to run I gave up. The dog charged at me and bit me on my leg (the scar is still there till this day). I was a Tomboy, so I manned up, or should I say boyyed up, and we continued on our earlier mission- to find our brothers. We had an idea where they (our brothers) would be so we went there. In front of our destination, there was a lime tree. We plucked some limes and applied it to the bite and that was the end of it. I didn’t tell my Mum or Dad. Now, What if the Dog had rabbies?
Another Occasion comes to mind. That was in my second year at the University, my Church faculty association went on a picnic to a river (Adada river) in Enugu State. Mind you, I have never been there before. After dancing to some great music, it was time to jump into the water and have fun. Trust me, I like to show myself (I’m humble though) that I was a good swimmer. I swam to the extreme part of the river (I doubt anyone was watching me) on getting there, I decided to rest and get my strength back before swimming back. Unfortunately, that end was deep(did I say deep, It should be f…ing deep) and bad a thing again I am not a terrific floater, So I tried swimming back to base(the distance was really great), and all my energy was gone, I was already admitting to myself that I was going to drown. I can’t even remember saying any last prayer.
There was this guy at the deep end too, maybe he noticed, he gave me a push and somehow I found my feet and stood on them. I looked back at where I was from and then at the people playing in the shallow end. I was dumbfounded and shocked…I could have died!
God, you are awesome. This event I told my mum about and she was like I should be very careful next time and other advising stuff and that if I had died there, I would have been buried at the river bank. God!! I love you.
These are two major events that would have claimed my life, not to mention the numerous electric shocks and suffocations from licking sugar etc.
God has really been merciful to me and I can’t think of any good thing I have done for him.