Wednesday, July 29, 2015

He has been my best so far.

It’s not difficult to say, he has been my best so far. Even though it seems we are not working out, because of the many challenges in front of us, he’s been amazing. I will not settle for anyone or anything lesser than what he gave me.

He treated me like a queen while it lasted. So sad it all has to come to an end, mainly because we work in the same place and the love (maybe) is not strong enough to make anyone give up his/her job. You know, where we work, you can’t marry your colleague. So one has to resign. Other minor reasons are, family not too keen on us. His People don’t like me that much and my peeps same; age not on my side to consider waiting longer; family responsibilities as first son; also, I’ve the tendency to be disrespectful etc.

I never called his people not because I didn’t have their number, but I didn’t think it was time to start getting close. I had seen one of his sisters, gone to her house twice, seen the brother a couple of times but I still feel this withdrawal. I always feel it. So I guess it’s me.

Did I forget to tell you that there’s someone his Mum wants him to settle with. She’s very beautiful but I guess she did something that hurt him, so he’s not so keen on settling with her. She loves him though, at least I’ve seen some of their communications. Sometimes I get jealous because I feel she loves him more than I do.

I’m not a prayer warrior like she is, I don’t know how to pray that God make all these challenges disappear, so that I live with him forever as his wife. All I know is that I love him so much and want him to be happy. Very hard to admit, but I want him to be happy even if I’m not the one. That’s how special he made me feel at least before he started withdrawing. Even at that, I know he still loves me.

Hard as it is to call your name here, the most unique name I’ve ever heard, if you ever come across this, drop a prayer for me, because I bless you every time I think of you.

Still writing in present tense. You can imagine