Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Forced Love

Then I pray “give me the heart to love him, who you've destined for me”

I found that most times in life’s love stories, most women don’t end up marrying who they love.

I assumed that would be my story too. Why? When men pursued me, after dating for a while, I end up loving more than they do and the relationship never sees the next stage. So in this particular scenario, after ups and down in my relationship, I sensed the absence of my lover’s heart. On the day I broke up with him, I had someone else seriously on my tail.

This new guy came with so much force. I kept asking myself if he is the one and since I didn’t have any affection for him, maybe that’s where my prayer comes in handy. “Give me the heart to love him, who you’ve destined for me”.

I still secretly pray for my lover to come back to me. Although something tells me I’ve lost him for good, because the challenges we have are too enormous for lazy and undedicated people like us to cross.

This new guy is coming too strong. I’m older than him with 2 years. He even uses my picture as his display picture on social media. No one else has done that apart from my siblings and cousins. I’ve not met him in person, his written English is close to terrible. Pictures of him are not clear but I can see he’s not my type.

A friend of mine chatted me once, she said she came across my pix on a mutual friend’s DP. She engaged him in a discussion and he told her I was his fiancée’ and we would be getting married in December.

Can he be real? Could he be the one for me? Will I open my heart to receive him?

All these I don’t know. Time will tell.

BTW, why can’t I marry someone I love and who loves me back? Why do I have to force myself to love someone just because I want to get married?