Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Names I have in mind for my Kids

Dubem..... I love this name. It will be the name of my first son. It means "Lead me". The full name is Chukwudubem- God lead/direct me. Isn't it a perfect name? I strongly believe in a persons name following him/her (including our president, he's obviously been having Good luck though it doesn't transcend to us).

My first daughter will be Amara. Aside from the meaning (even before I knew the meaning), I've loved the name  because all the ladies I know who bear this name are beautiful, and have this calm disposition, like they are at peace with their person and the world. Amara means "Grace"- you see! Wonderful meaning. For the full name between Amarachukwu or Amarachi, I don't know which exact one to choose. BTW, I don't want the names of my kids to be too long that it would not fit into forms with limited boxes- if you know what I mean!

For now, I want to have two kids. This is just because I want to give them the best of everything. God will bless me with the resources to go as much as four. Amen!

Thursday, July 12, 2012

A new routine for me

Today is my first day in church. I had decided to start spending my lunch break in the church- in front of the Blessed Sacrament. I was to start on Monday, but got so busy at the office that I skipped lunch. But today (Wednesday), after lunch with DP, I decided to use the remaining 30mins to at least familiarize myself with my new routine. So I found my way to the Cathedral.
 I’m at the Cathedral writing this and I’m wondering why I decided to be spending my lunch here? Ok, it’s just to have a quiet time with God, tell him what I’ve been through since the last time I saw him (in this place) and ask him for new favours and direction.
….For now I like my office (Job). So my focus will be on a life partner. He (God) has to answer me before the year runs out. I’m ready to settle down. I really wasn’t ready before even though I talked about marriage a lot before. But now, I’m ready and ready to settle down, make babies and run a home.
I want to ask for a sign Lord concerning this marriage issue. I get scared most times because there are some people I don’t fancy at all coming my way (and in my thoughts) and I don’t want the sign to favour them. An example of the signs I had in mind were for “the chosen” to call me at a particular time of a particular day, but I changed my mind about it. I used to have a sign, a terrific one (I wasn’t serious-pray- about it) and besides I wrote it down somewhere and I’m sure someone would have had a glimpse of it. So I’ll come up with another one and then I’ll fast and pray about it. This is so the devil will not use it against me.
Lord I’ve already complied the list of the qualities I want in my future husband, I’ll bring it tomorrow and we can work on it.

Monday, July 2, 2012

What he wanted me to believe

OB told me that it was not possible to see a man that won't cheat on me. I don't know if he's totally correct or he was saying it, so that I'm not caught off balance when I find out about him. Anyways, I found out, or rather, I always knew.

Back to the discussion, I don't believe it's impossible to find a man that won't cheat on me. If I can stay without cheating on my husband, surely then he can stay without cheating on me... What do you think?

Why do men feel they can't control their thoughts(Mind)? Especially regarding sex? As far as I'm concerned, anyone who can't control his thought especially as a man is a failure- my opinion!

The camel's back is broken

I spent the weekend at OB place with his family. On that Friday, I followed a colleague of mine who lives around his area. When i got to his house, he wasn't home neither was anyone-his phone was switched off. So i went to a church nearby to chill and pray (I didn't). Since it was already getting late, I started making alternative arrangement regarding where I would sleep. I decided to check the house one last time before leaving finally, and loo OB was at the door trying to get in. He was a little furious cos he thought i won't be coming again.  Anyways, Nothing much happened that night except watching Tv. Then on Saturday, he left before the environmental sanitation began to work and from there he was suppose to go for an interview. So basically, i was home alone. Later in the evening, when I assumed the interview would have been over, I called his phone, but he did not pick..and then my imaginations started running wild. What if there was no interview to start with? Maybe he was chilling with one of his numerous girlfriends.  Finally he came and said we were going out to a friend's birthday party. He said one of his ex might be there (I wonder why he was telling me that!) We sha went for the party, I saw a senior colleague of mine there and he was surprised to see me in such a gathering- cos honestly, that ain't my kinda thing.

We came home late and slept of. 

the next day was a Sunday. He decided to do his laundry (which took forever). He said mine was to rinse and spread. I did nada cos one he wasn't doing any washing really, but the washing machine. After a while, he came and told me to assist in spreading, but i was not in a wonderful because a lot really happened over the weekend. 

On Friday, I saw a script on the floor of his room with his "ex-girlfriends" name on it. I tried to push it off my mind, but it didn't work. So I asked him about it. This is the annoying part, He started rambling that he doesn't know, probably it belongs to his sister (I knew his sister can't/won't come to his room to read). I asked again and told him the reason i was asking was co i say Her name on it (an email printout). You needed to see the confusion in his face, of course he came up with another excuse..that it was probably old stuff of hers that he mistaking got out of his box when he was searching for his Cv and credentials. I then told him to tell me the truth and stop complicating things. He stood by what he said, then I told him he was lying, cos the script was not old...the email document (script) came with date and the date said Wednesday (day-before-yesterday). He later confessed that she was around that Wednesday. I asked him if she slept over and he quickly denied it saying his sister would not allow it( two day later, on Sunday, i saw a pajamas in a box, and I guess it was hers cos she's on the big side). 

I'm already tired of all this story sef. The annoying thing is he thinks he's smart, so why can't he cover his tracks well? He knows fully well that I would arrange his room cos I can't stay in a dirty room.

Oh before I forget, when I saw that script, I guess he hurriedly looked around his room to look for any other thing that would implicated him. So he took my shoes(which was in a nylon bag) and my belt and flung it out of his room thinking they were stuffs belonging to the other chick. I realized this when I started looking for my stuffs ..and I knew exactly where i dropped them.

I need to edit my last post or rather cross out some shit!